Understanding Your Child’s Emotions
How to Support Feelings and Build Resilience
If you’ve ever wondered why your child can go from giggles to tears in seconds, you’re not alone. One minute they’re happily playing, and the next they’re melting down over the “wrong” colour cup or hiding in their room because something upset them.
It can feel exhausting and confusing, and you might find yourself thinking, “Why are they reacting like this?!”
The truth is, big feelings are a normal part of childhood. Children’ brains are still learning how to manage emotions, so what feels small to us can feel absolutely overwhelming to them. The good news is that with a bit of support, children can learn to understand their feelings, talk about them, and cope better when life gets tricky.
Why Kids’ Emotions Feel So Big
Children simply don’t have the same control over their emotions as adults do. The part of the brain that helps manage feelings is still developing and won’t be fully ready until well into their 20s.
So, when your child is sad, angry, or worried, those feelings can hit like a tidal wave. Because they don’t yet have the words to explain what’s going on inside, they use behaviour instead – crying, shouting, sulking, or shutting down completely.
Seeing it this way can really change how we respond. It’s not “bad behaviour” – it’s a child saying, “I don’t know how to cope right now.”
Why Naming Feelings Helps So Much
One of the easiest ways to support your child is by helping them put words to their feelings.
Try saying things like, “I can see you’re really frustrated because your Lego broke,” or “It looks like you feel worried about going to school tomorrow.”
It might feel simple, but it’s powerful. Naming emotions helps children feel understood. It also teaches them that feelings aren’t scary – they’re just signals our body gives us. Over time, this builds emotional intelligence, which is basically a life skill that helps kids manage relationships, cope with challenges, and feel confident asking for help.
Simple Ways to Help Kids Express Their Feelings
Helping children open up doesn’t need to be complicated. A feelings chart with different emotions can work wonders, especially for younger ones. They can point to how they feel instead of trying to explain it.
For slightly older children, try a “feelings box.” Encourage them to draw or write down how they’re feeling and pop it inside. Later, you can sit together and talk about what they’ve shared.
And don’t forget to show them what healthy emotional expression looks like. Saying things like, “I feel a bit tired today, so I’m going to have a rest,” or “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m taking a deep breath,” teaches them that all feelings are normal and that we can manage them calmly.
10 Example Scripts Parents Can Use Right Away
Sometimes the hardest part is knowing what to say in the moment. Here are 10 simple scripts you can try with your child.
1️⃣ When your child is angry -
“I can see you’re really angry right now. That’s okay – we all get angry sometimes. Let’s take some deep breaths together, then we can figure out what to do next.”
2️⃣ When your child is sad -
“It looks like you’re feeling really sad. I’m here with you. Do you want a cuddle, or do you just want me to sit next to you?”
3️⃣ When your child is worried about school -
“It sounds like you’re worried about school tomorrow. Can you tell me the part you’re worried about? Let’s make a plan together so you feel ready.”
4️⃣ When your child feels frustrated -
“That is frustrating, isn’t it? I get frustrated too when things don’t work out. What can we try differently?”
5️⃣ When your child feels embarrassed -
“I can see that felt embarrassing for you. That happens to all of us sometimes. I’m proud of you for trying.”
6️⃣ When your child feels jealous of a sibling or friend -
“It seems like you’re feeling jealous because they got something you wanted. It’s okay to feel that way. How about we think of something special we can do together instead?”
7️⃣ When your child is having a meltdown -
“Your feelings feel really big right now. I’m going to stay close and help you feel safe. When you’re ready, we can talk about what happened.”
8️⃣ When your child is proud of themselves -
“Wow, you must feel really proud of what you just did! How does it feel inside your body when you achieve something like that?”
9️⃣ When your child doesn’t want to talk -
“That’s okay if you don’t feel like talking right now. I’ll be here when you’re ready. You can always tell me how you feel later.”
🔟 When your child shares their feelings with you -
“Thank you for telling me how you feel. I love when you share things with me – it helps me understand you better.”
These scripts are simple, but they work because they:
✅ Name the emotion.
✅ Validate the feeling.
✅ Offer comfort or a way forward.
Why This Matters for Confidence and Resilience
When children can talk about their feelings, everything becomes easier. They learn that emotions come and go, and they’re not something to fear. These skills make children more resilient. They cope better with disappointment, get along better with friends, and feel more confident asking for help when they need it. Helping your child with their emotions doesn’t mean they’ll never cry or get angry again – but it does mean they’ll grow up knowing how to handle life’s ups and downs without feeling overwhelmed.
A Final Thought for Parents
Parenting through big emotions can feel hard, but remember – you don’t need to get it perfect. The small, everyday moments matter most. When you name your child’s feelings, give them safe ways to express themselves, and show them that all emotions are okay, you’re building their confidence and resilience in ways that will last a lifetime.
And if you’d like a bit of extra support, our Children’s Programme gives children simple, practical tools to help your child understand and manage their feelings in a fun, playful way. It’s full of ideas you can use straight away at home. [Find out more here →]